Monday, I got the delightful news that my essay that was supposed to be due this Wednesday is due the Wednesday after next. HURRAH! I have more time to procrastinate. It also gives me more time to actually go to Wal-Mart and observe people instead of fabricating observations. However I am quite sure that my observations are accurate. For example, HEINOUS CLOTHES! Organized from XXXL down.
Let me abbreviate the rest of the weekdays, more procrastination, and bitching and moaning (justifiably) about my incompetent math teacher.
Friday however we went to see street car. It twas amazing! I cried 3 count them 3 tears at the end of the play. After the play we went to the after party which was a total bust except that they didn't card for the first 30 minutes. So I was able to get sufficiently buzzed. We then returned to LP. I got my enormous bottle, equivalent to handle, minus the handle (they should just call it the college bottle) and deposited it in Olivia's purse and ventured to Ambrosia, the shitty hookah bar, with my wife Olivia, great Jewish mother Lena, hairy Kyle, Kyle's spiky friend Zackers, sporty Derrick, and slutty Diana. There was massive making out occurring that night. Lets recount.
Lena/Olivia
Zackers/Olivia
Lena/Kyle
Kyle/Diana
Diana/Derrick
Bob/Zackers
Bob/Derrick
Bob/Derrick
Olivia/Diana
The making out between Olivia and Lena received claps from the other table. Olivia now OWES me a makeout session, which will be fulfilled tonight! I anticipate there will be more making out. LENA why do you have to be allergic to alcohol?! I have the urge to make out with this Anne Hathaway look-alike. She is a good jewish mother, and looks like Anne Hathaway!
I now lounge upon my bed like Cleopatra on the barge anticipating the wonders in store for tonight. BOOGIE NIGHTS party. I got the most disgusting shirt from the most amazing consignment store! I now must shower and get ready for a party tat promises to be AMAZING!
Thanks for reading, and if the horsemen have appeared, will someone give them my cell number?
1 comment:
Oh my dear Mr. Hogge, since when are you a flaming drunk. Or is that information that has been mercifully witheld from me. Don't let the city EAT YOU ALIVE. What would we do without you?!
Post a Comment