The traumas of college

I sit on my bed recounting the events of the past few weeks, and I feel this deep sense of, hopelessness.  I know that sounds emo, but its true.  Everyone dreams of the day when they leave home and go to college, I know, I was that way too.  And I chose the best city, and the furthest place from home.  And I realize, that friendships that were my LIFE in HS, are slowly but surely dissintegrating.  I called my friend the other day, and I couldn't for the life of me find anything to talk about.  Perhaps this is a good thing.  Perhaps college is where you go to solidify the new friendships you have and leave the drama filled friendship behind.  

But I find myself homesick, craving these friendships.  And my bed.  Bestie went home for the weekend, and I was so jealous.  Also, I have noticed that I have ennui.  I didn't really know how to incorporate that gracefully, but I have.  The past few days have consisted of getting drunk, eating massive amounts of junk food, wanting cigarettes, watching Little Britain on Youtube, and bitching about the weather.  You know college is supposed to be about education, and I am doing everything BUT!  I am also bitching about the lack of a certain someone who adds a dash of excitment to my life.   But for his sake I will not talk about him.  

Just wanted to see if anybody else feels the same.  Now for a rant.  I went to PLuS (LD program) and scheduled my classes.  And I wanted to know about intersession.  Intersession is this three week period in between Thanksgiving and Christmas in which I can gain credits.  I want to do it, and my mom wants me to do it too.  I bring this up to my clinician, and he tells me that it is too hard for me!   I wanted to yell, scream, stab him with his shitty kiddy safety scissors!  I am not like most of the kids in that program.  I AM CAPABLE!  I WANT TO BE CHALLENGED!  I am not pay 46k a year to get an easy education.  I felt like someone going to an expensive car dealership and the salesman saying that these are too expensive for me!  Now, I am angry.  I need a drink.  Peace and love darlings!

Sexy botch!