End of the quarter

So I can't really think about what to rant about, but I figured that it has been too long since I last posted.  But a lot has happened.  A friend nearly died.  I lost (did I really lose it) a roomie.  Made a new friend.  And I finished my first college classes.

I do have one thing that I want to write about.  I was in mortal fear this entire quarter that I was failing my classes.  I mean, I went to retarted HS and now I am going to a real university.  And even tho I know I am passing all of my classes, I am still in fear that I am going to flunk out.  If I wouldn't have left my original HS for reasons (if you don't know, you should not be reading this blog) I probably would have flunked out anyways.  So I think that I am now in this mindset that I am set to fail.  But as I sit on my bed, listening to Marching Bands of Manhattan, I realized something.  The person who put me in that mindset is my mother.  And you know what....  I could care less what she thinks about me.  She doesn't know me.  The closest we have ever been physically and emotionally was when I was in the womb.  And I aim to prove her wrong!  Thats right mom, focus on the favored child, and I'll do just fine without you.

If you are still reading this I want you to know, that even tho I may not know you.  I love you.  Because you are taking the time to read a random persons thoughts and feelings.  And there need to be more people like that in this world.  

Love, Rev RJH

The World is a-changing, or will be...

I awoke today with the sun shining in my face.  I got up and stretched, and it hit me like a brick to the stomach.  History will occur today.  And this feeling hasn't left me since.  I was walking back from class, and as the sun set, with brilliant colors, I felt like the sun is chrushing down on my chest, and I can't catch my breath.  But you have to ask yourself "What does this election mean to me?"  I think that this election is so important because we have essentially grown up in war.  And we had no choice about who was to lead us into this war, and now that we have a choice, it seems like our civic responsibility.  And when people don't vote just because they don't want to, I am filled with such RAGE!  I would kill to vote, but apparently Texas doesn't believe in absentee ballots.

As I recieve an IM I realize what this feeling is.  It is a feeling of numbness, like how I feel when I take my focalin.  Perhaps this is because I was unable to vote and I had/have no say in who will be leading me or this nation.  And that is scary to me.  Comment if you think this is irrational, or offer your thoughts.  Don't give me hate because I support, just offer constructive words.